When the Good Guys Win

My entire life has been about a never ending series of too-good-to-be-true's that always ended in being well, too good to be true. It has been about crossing my fingers and sweating balls that maybe this time it won't be so evanescent. It has been about making inside jokes so insidious that sometimes, only I get it. It has been about belittling other people's problems and anticipating the day when we can only laugh about them.

It has been about making mistakes, some greater than others, and not coming out a better person.

It has been about sonatas and slurpees and Sams and shitheads that inadvertently, presently, have nothing to do with the letter "s" in Sarah. Cause that letter "s" has to do with the letter "v" and the letter "m," sometimes the letter "p," frequently the letter "j," and always the number 6. It has been about obesity, homosexuality, and mothballs. Again, with the inside jokes.

It has been about celebrating 80 degree weather in shorts, only to be betrayed by the 30 degree drop that night. It has been about the ones that mattered being the shortest, and the ones most serious being unofficial. It has been about being second best. It has been about falling into Cowardice, Jealousy, Pride, or a combination of all three, without a fight. It has always been about shotgun.

It has been about trying to sound relevant.

It has been about Franny and Zooey and Gob and Descartes, Quentin, Dreyer, Rowland, Johnson & Johnson. It has been about stickers on "A" papers and falling asleep in the backyard before the meteor shower. It has been about other people's love stories. It has been about falling for the guitar, taking advantage of the piano, and unconditional lovers on the drums. It has been about being too focused on the alarm. It has been about being afraid of skirts until I was forced into wearing them everyday for four years. It has been about fry trays that haven't been filled to the top and other disappointments. It has been about Flag Day. It has been about the secrets unrevealed in a long car ride, flavor-of-the-weeks, and bottom lockers. It has been about molding into other people's lingo, making up words that sound real, and bad grammar.

It has been about falling too hard.